Archive | January, 2011

Triage on the Run

28 Jan

Once upon a time, I was a runner.  I liked to run 5Ks and 10Ks–never won my age group or anything, just liked running.  Then one day, I realized I was (gasp) 39!  The horror!  My life was tumbling toward middle age!  Ack!  As if the universe knew, a letter came addressed to me from Team in Training.  “Do you want to be in the best shape of your life?”  (Uh….yeah!) “Do you want to travel to exotic places?” (Duh?!)  ” Do you want to help little children survive a horrible disease?”  (Sniff, *wipe a tear*…yeah.)  I ran the Honolulu Marathon and raised over $2K for The Leukemia Society in 1999.  These are THE shoes that trained for and ran the marathon. 

Came home, loved the whole marathon thing, ran a local race up and over the Colorado National Monument (not quite a marathon, but harder!) in 2000.  The Rim Rock Run is now a marathon, I ran it when it was “only” a 37K run.

Then, trained for and ran the inagural Arizona Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon in Phoenix in 2004…and ended up with an injury from over-training and running on slanty roads.  ITBS–ilio-tibial band syndrome.  Basically a pain on the outside of the knee caused by a tendon rubbing.  But…loved that distance!  A marathon is kind of a long way, but half is awesome! 

Ever since, I’ve been struggling to get back to running.  With weather warming to the upper 40s today, I decided to abandon my treadmill walk and run outside.  About a half mile in, the triage began: 

What is that little pain in my little toe?  Is it a corn?  Can I keep running on it?  Yup.

Oh, the back of my knee feels tight.  What’s causing that?  Can I keep running?  Yup.

There’s that knee twinge–is the ITBS gonna start in again?  Crap….keep running.

And as Yul Brenner in The King and I would say, etcetera, etcetera.

Road running by yourself provides a lot of time to think.  I’m a worrier by nature, but I got to thinking–what if I could triage my worries?  Assess them and make a decision on whether or not I need to deal with it or just “keep on running.”  It’s making more sense to me all the time.  It’s supposed to be 50 tomorrow(!), so I’m planning to run outside again; more time to ponder “worry triage on the run.”  Then I’ll come in for breakfast, and that second cup of coffee.

Me? Worried?

24 Jan

Yup.

photo attribution

If I see a “guilt” just layin’ there on the floor, I’ll pick it up and own it.  Even if it really has nothing to do with me.  Even if the true owner is in the room.  I guess I must consider myself a guilt expert.  I know how to wear it.  I know how to nurture it with the darkness of the wee hours of the morning, molding it and fluffing it with worry.  Worry.  Worry.  Worry.

I worry about if something I said in passing might have possibly been construed as offensive or hurtful by someone.  I worry that I was overly-exuberant about something and someone might have been put-off.  Did I remember to feed the cat?  Did I remember to call my mom?  Will Mr16 win his chair-challenge in jazz band?  Am I too clingy with Mr16?  Am I too distant?  How will I survive when he goes away to college? 

The list goes on and on.  They all come out in the wee hours of the night, partying like a bunch of creepy little goblins in my head.  They always seem worse in the dark; creating their favorite habitat of impending doom.  This always gives me the “OMG I must fix this right NOW” feeling, and of course at 3 in the morning, what can you do??? 

Probably a good thing.  When the sun comes up on a fresh new day, most of those worries can’t tolerate the daylight and fade away into the shadows.  The activity of the day can keep some of the others at bay.  Often, I’ve been worrying for no reason, really.  Just that random guilt I pick up and store.

In looking for images and whatnot for this post I came across these lyrics from the song “Why Worry” by Dire Straits:

“Why worry, there should be laughter after the pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now”

Funny how the lesson you need seems to present itself.  I’m thinking I’ll ponder these lyrics with my second cup of coffee tomorrow morning.  Thanks for listening.

Finding my voice

19 Jan

This week I started a second blog, Somethin’ Yummy.  I love to cook, I love food, I tend to post about food and cooking on Facebook, and friends suggested I share recipes…soooo, a food-themed blog seemed like a great plan!  WordPress made it super easy and so far, I’m really enjoying sharing recipes and food thoughts.  The librarian in me is enjoying a bit of research for hyperlinks, the writer in me is enjoying crafting sentences with my audience and clarity in mind, and the foodie in me is just in heaven! 

My head is swimming with ideas–I had to start a brainstorming document to help me keep track.  I’m becoming obsessed with taking pictures of everything I cook at every step in the process.  My poor Blackberry has been subjected to a bit of flour and doughy fingers, alas.  This morning, a friend who created Discover The Grand Valley posted my blog on their Facebook!  So fun!!!  I’m hearing from lots of friends in comments on the blog and comments on Facebook; some have even subscribed to Somethin’ Yummy! *Hugs and Kisses*  : )

I’m not abandoning this blog.  I have the need, it seems, to babble away on topics other than food.  This blog is the perfect venue for that; miscellaneous musings and all….   Meanwhile, my second blog is feeling like a particularly yummy second cup of coffee!

Looking Ahead….

4 Jan

The fresh new year is but 4 days old, and already my head is swimming with all the possibilities I can squish into the next 361 days!  Stuff I’m thinking about:

  • Travel.  DH and I are headed to San Francisco tomorrow to visit friends who said we MUST come for crab season.  Really?  50 degree weather+good friends+good food+reasonable airfare+ability to travel right now=YES!!!  We’ll be there!  Travel to the east coast to visit family is on the horizon for the spring.
  • Technology.  As a RETIRED librarian, I worry that technology will be leaving me behind in no time at all.  But, yesterday I bought a nook e-reader!!!  LOVE it!  I love the look and feel and smell of a new book, but for travel, this is so cool.  I’m finding the nook does have a book-ish feel to it somehow. Maybe it comes from the size of the display, maybe I’m just so easily sucked into the words that the format just doesn’t matter.  It is way easier to read from than a computer screen.  What a great little piece of technology, and I feel right at home with it already.
  • Food.  When am I NOT thinking about food?!  I’m thinking of starting a new blog based on cooking.  I love to cook and if I have a recipe, I feel like I can cook whatever.  I’ve had a lot of fun lately with recipes that are new to me and sharing the yumminess that results with friends.  I’ve thought about adding foodie entries to this often neglected blog, but now that I’m writing while I’m thinking…..thinking, yeah, new blog.  Be watching for it after we get back from the Bay Area!
  • Health.  After my recent adventures with kidney stones, my health has to take priority this year.  I’m drinking more water, and minding the foods high in oxalates.  While the weather is cold, I’m back being friends with my treadmill and Wii Fit.  I’m determined to NOT be in this situation again!
  • Motherhood.  Mr16 is a great kid and hasn’t shunned me, but is starting to *gasp!* be more independent….as he should.  He has but a year and a half left of high school, and then….   He is wisely considering the finite quality of his college fund and has realized his choice of schools will determine how far it goes.  He’s talking staying in town to attend the local state college, Mesa State, for the first two years.  This thrills me no end, I’ll have a couple more years with him around!  He hates cold and snow, so I’m not hopeful that he’ll make Colorado his final destination.  I’m thinking when he moves out, he won’t ever be back except for holidays, lalala.  This year, and the next few, I’ll be sucking up as much of the joy that IS being his mom as I can.
  • Gardening.  The seed catalogs have started to arrive and now that the holidays are over, I’m ready for warmer weather and gardening.  I want to grow fava beans this year.  I’m thinking I’m not gonna mess with as many of the spring veggies, like peas, lettuce, radishes this year; I’m really the only one who eats them. 
  • Dear Husband.  I’m gonna try really hard to revive date night.  A night without the constant drone of the TV.  A night with special food that I don’t cook all by myself, wine, candlelight, a walk in the desert after dinner….you get the idea.  I’m tired of the TV running the show around here.  HGTV, Food Network, Keith Olbermann and the many permutations of CSI can be DVRed for an evening.
  • Blogging and other record-keeping.  I keep a “Christmas Book.”  It has places to save the favorite card, record who got what, events, food, lalala.  I dug it out to record this year’s info, and discovered I had skipped some years.  Michael, Zach and I read through what WAS there, and laughed and remembered and then felt robbed by the missing years.  Memory is such a fragile and precious thing.  I need to save the happy times to look back on.

Enough stuff for now.  I need to look up the gate/concourse we arrive to in Denver and the one we leave from tomorrow morning to see if there’s a coffee shop near them…I’ll be wanting a cuppa!