Tag Archives: worries

Triage on the Run

28 Jan

Once upon a time, I was a runner.  I liked to run 5Ks and 10Ks–never won my age group or anything, just liked running.  Then one day, I realized I was (gasp) 39!  The horror!  My life was tumbling toward middle age!  Ack!  As if the universe knew, a letter came addressed to me from Team in Training.  “Do you want to be in the best shape of your life?”  (Uh….yeah!) “Do you want to travel to exotic places?” (Duh?!)  ” Do you want to help little children survive a horrible disease?”  (Sniff, *wipe a tear*…yeah.)  I ran the Honolulu Marathon and raised over $2K for The Leukemia Society in 1999.  These are THE shoes that trained for and ran the marathon. 

Came home, loved the whole marathon thing, ran a local race up and over the Colorado National Monument (not quite a marathon, but harder!) in 2000.  The Rim Rock Run is now a marathon, I ran it when it was “only” a 37K run.

Then, trained for and ran the inagural Arizona Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon in Phoenix in 2004…and ended up with an injury from over-training and running on slanty roads.  ITBS–ilio-tibial band syndrome.  Basically a pain on the outside of the knee caused by a tendon rubbing.  But…loved that distance!  A marathon is kind of a long way, but half is awesome! 

Ever since, I’ve been struggling to get back to running.  With weather warming to the upper 40s today, I decided to abandon my treadmill walk and run outside.  About a half mile in, the triage began: 

What is that little pain in my little toe?  Is it a corn?  Can I keep running on it?  Yup.

Oh, the back of my knee feels tight.  What’s causing that?  Can I keep running?  Yup.

There’s that knee twinge–is the ITBS gonna start in again?  Crap….keep running.

And as Yul Brenner in The King and I would say, etcetera, etcetera.

Road running by yourself provides a lot of time to think.  I’m a worrier by nature, but I got to thinking–what if I could triage my worries?  Assess them and make a decision on whether or not I need to deal with it or just “keep on running.”  It’s making more sense to me all the time.  It’s supposed to be 50 tomorrow(!), so I’m planning to run outside again; more time to ponder “worry triage on the run.”  Then I’ll come in for breakfast, and that second cup of coffee.

Partly Worried With A Chance of Panic

24 May

So.  We’ve had a run of greywindyrainycool weather lately, and all the dreariness has taken up residence in my head.  The result?  Partly worried with a chance of panic.  I’m worried about how already 5-years-retired DH will adjust to me being in the house more often.  A lot more often.  He has a sort of schedule he follows—will I fit in there?  Will I be in the way?  Will he be resentful if errands don’t get run, email doesn’t get answered, finances don’t get managed because I got a wild hair and decided we should go buy a new tree or something?  Will I be resentful if he needs to get his email answered when I want him to come out and play with me?

Will I lose track of my school and library friends?  What will I talk about at parties with them?  We always commiserate about stuff going on at our respective schools.  OMG!  I’m going to be like our spouses who feel excluded from the conversations!  Ack!!!!  Should have been more understanding of THAT—hindsight!

And what about money?  A pension is not the same money you make being a 26-year employee with a master’s degree in a large school district.  We don’t have a ton of bills hanging over our heads, but less is still less.  And, Mr. 15 is on the verge of a driver’s license, and moving ever closer to college.


OK.  So I feel a bit better just writing this all down—after all, it’s only a few paragraphs—not nearly so insurmountable as it had been when it was just lurking around in my head.  I’m feeling the need to balance out the panic with some reality.  On to the stuff I’m NOT worried about.

It’ll be OK.  Lots of people retire and live to tell about it.  Many of them even enjoy retirement!  I know I’ll be busy; I’ve joined the Band Parent’s Board of Mr. 15’s high school, the greenhouse wants me to work more hours, we have a lot of landscaping to repair now that the addition is complete.  I have a ton of the usual “oh, I’ll clean out the storage shed when I’m retired” stuff.  We want to travel and visit friends and new places.  I’ve promised to go play in friends’ libraries and bring them mochas.

I will have the freedom to not be TOO busy.  I’m definitely not going to be too busy to have that second cup of coffee and listen to the birds welcome the morning.